This has been the craziest weather that I can remember. To go from 70-80's back to rain and only in the 40's. I think someone should think about building a ark. Not sure how to dress. The furnace is back on, and wearing winter clothes again. Only in Michigan can you wear shorts one week, then winter coats the next week.
I'm feeling better, not as blue as I was. If we could get some sun shine that would help. I think it's suppose to be nice this weekend. If so maybe I can get somethings done. I have to doggie sit, but she is a good girl. I can't take her outside while I do yard work. I have no stake out and she might wander away. She will stay with me while watch her. I'm just afraid if I get involved in a project she might wander away and I can't have that. So it might have to be inside projects. And lord knows I have enough of those to keep me busy for years.
Tomorrow is Madysens dance recital, I will let you know how it goes.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
JUST SO SO
I'm still in my funk...I'm trying to get out of it. So I will post from my journal today.
4TH Entry
THURSDAY
JULY 17, 2008
I’m feeling about the same, not good and not bad. I have been trying to decide on a headstone for Brad. So many choices, it’s really hard to just pick one. And it’s really hard to believe that I’m doing this at this stage of my life. We where making plans for our future and what we wanted to do when we retired. And just like that it’s gone. One minute your are fine and the next you’re not. But life is supposed to go on, and everyone else seems to but you. I just found out my niece is expecting their first child. I’m so happy for them, but at the same time it’s hard. It just makes you realize whether you like it or not, life will keep going.
This next week we will have some more first. First on Sunday is MoMo’s 3rd birthday and on Wednesday will be Steps birthday. And as we celebrate, we will also be missing a very important person who is supposed to be there. But as I said, life goes on. I will sit back at some time during the day and remember the day that both of these special people came into this world and think of Brad and ……..… such a bittersweet time.
4TH Entry
THURSDAY
JULY 17, 2008
I’m feeling about the same, not good and not bad. I have been trying to decide on a headstone for Brad. So many choices, it’s really hard to just pick one. And it’s really hard to believe that I’m doing this at this stage of my life. We where making plans for our future and what we wanted to do when we retired. And just like that it’s gone. One minute your are fine and the next you’re not. But life is supposed to go on, and everyone else seems to but you. I just found out my niece is expecting their first child. I’m so happy for them, but at the same time it’s hard. It just makes you realize whether you like it or not, life will keep going.
This next week we will have some more first. First on Sunday is MoMo’s 3rd birthday and on Wednesday will be Steps birthday. And as we celebrate, we will also be missing a very important person who is supposed to be there. But as I said, life goes on. I will sit back at some time during the day and remember the day that both of these special people came into this world and think of Brad and ……..… such a bittersweet time.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Mothers Day
So what is Mothers Day without a mother. Mine has been gone for 11 yrs. now. I'm not sure where the time has gone. But it has, mom is gone, dad is gone, in laws are gone, husband is gone. Everyone is gone. So why get up and keep going? Yes, I have kids and grand kids, and they both called and wished me a happy mothers day. One is home feeling pretty much the same as I'm feeling and the other one is on a trip with her family. So I sit here at noon in my jammies, trying to decide what to do. I'm thinking about just going back to bed.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
When do the tears stop?
Last night we had a family birthday party for Richie. It was so much fun, all of us together. The kids had fun playing and dinner was soooo good. He liked all of his gifts and even got to play outside for awhile. So on my home I was re-playing the evening in my head and smiling. By the time I was halfway home I thought to myself, boy my allergies are real bad tonight, my eyes won't stop running. It was then that I realized I it wasn't my allergies, but I was crying. I had two silent streams running down my face. So why after 2 1/2 yrs does it still hit me as hard as it did then?
3RD Entry from my journal
TUESDAY
JULY 15, 08
I think I’m feeling better today. I sure hope so. Thought that hot tub was fixed, not. Will have to try again. But I have hot water now. So that is a plus, nothing like a hot shower to make you feel better. My knees have been real bad for the last 2 weeks and doesn’t help. And I have been remembering some goofy times about Brad. Right now the sweet and tender ones make me cry so it’s the goofy ones that are making me smile. Like the time he stood me up on a date to go to a party with the guys. Someone threw a bottle and smashed his windshield. Guess who he had to call for a ride home? Or when it was icy and we pulled into the gas station (that he worked at) and he didn’t quite stop in time. Lets just say he lost his job and the owner had to replace the BIG window in front. Or the time Amanda dropped his fishing pole in the water. The time he put a new bathroom vanity in. Got everything connected, turned on the water and it was spraying all over the place. (it didn’t help with me laughing until I was sick) Then there was the time he was trying to make a ice rink for Stephanie and the little girl next door picked up the hose and sprayed him (he never finished the ice rink.) And we will never forget the steering box episode or when his desk was in the living room. How many times did he tip that chair over? Who could forget how many times he fell out of his truck when the gas tank was off. Not to mention when he lost his cool with object, usually the object end up at the curb, but he felt better. Besides I needed a new ironing board. Well I’m still smiling and I hope I will continue to do so after I get home.
3RD Entry from my journal
TUESDAY
JULY 15, 08
I think I’m feeling better today. I sure hope so. Thought that hot tub was fixed, not. Will have to try again. But I have hot water now. So that is a plus, nothing like a hot shower to make you feel better. My knees have been real bad for the last 2 weeks and doesn’t help. And I have been remembering some goofy times about Brad. Right now the sweet and tender ones make me cry so it’s the goofy ones that are making me smile. Like the time he stood me up on a date to go to a party with the guys. Someone threw a bottle and smashed his windshield. Guess who he had to call for a ride home? Or when it was icy and we pulled into the gas station (that he worked at) and he didn’t quite stop in time. Lets just say he lost his job and the owner had to replace the BIG window in front. Or the time Amanda dropped his fishing pole in the water. The time he put a new bathroom vanity in. Got everything connected, turned on the water and it was spraying all over the place. (it didn’t help with me laughing until I was sick) Then there was the time he was trying to make a ice rink for Stephanie and the little girl next door picked up the hose and sprayed him (he never finished the ice rink.) And we will never forget the steering box episode or when his desk was in the living room. How many times did he tip that chair over? Who could forget how many times he fell out of his truck when the gas tank was off. Not to mention when he lost his cool with object, usually the object end up at the curb, but he felt better. Besides I needed a new ironing board. Well I’m still smiling and I hope I will continue to do so after I get home.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
May and Richie's Birthday
Happy Birthday to my oldest Grandson.
I can't believe he is 9 today. 9 yrs ago on this day, his grandpa and I was having a estimate on how much a Michigan room would cost. Then we where on the way to the hospital. His sister wasn't to happy when she found out that it was a boy. She had put her order in for a girl, but there are somethings that you have no control over. And I can honestly say I sure she still wishes for a sister instead of a brother not to mention two brothers.
I have been so busy the last two weeks, I think that I have been meeting myself coming and going. At work we had been gearing up for the barn sale then we had for mention sale this past weekend. And it was a success as usual. We made more then we had in Oct. Now the rest will go on Craig's list to be sold. I also made a quick trip to Tennessee to see my niece and her family.
1st the trip. My sister and I took off bright and early on Friday and made good time (for awhile), hit some rain and slow traffic but other wise it was a good trip. Christan and her family have a beautiful home and I so enjoyed myself. She took us to one of her favorite stores, Old Time Pottery, if you ever have a chance go and check this place out. My sister brought now for Kaity Bug a tent with a tunnel, she loved it. I won't mention any names, but someone got stuck in the tunnel. Oh how I wish I had the video of it.
I'm happy to announce that she did get out. But it was funny. And I just loved all my Kaity Bug kisses. I can't wait until the next time, and maybe we can make it a girls weekend with all of us.
Now the second big event was the barn sale, I know what the big deal about that. But when you are filling over 6000 sq. ft. pole barn with items, it is a big deal. It takes about 3 mo of solid work. We are so lucky to have a wonderful lady who does this. Then when all the sorting is done and price, we spend 4 days having a sale. Then the rest goes on to Craig's list or EBay. And let me tell you, I'm not sure how Lisa does all of this, because after the 4 days of selling, I'm whipped. But we do have lots of fun and that makes all the better. I will try and post pictures when we do the next one.
So now I think I'm caught up, at least for now. I'm looking forward to some down time, maybe I can get caught up at the house.
I can't believe he is 9 today. 9 yrs ago on this day, his grandpa and I was having a estimate on how much a Michigan room would cost. Then we where on the way to the hospital. His sister wasn't to happy when she found out that it was a boy. She had put her order in for a girl, but there are somethings that you have no control over. And I can honestly say I sure she still wishes for a sister instead of a brother not to mention two brothers.
I have been so busy the last two weeks, I think that I have been meeting myself coming and going. At work we had been gearing up for the barn sale then we had for mention sale this past weekend. And it was a success as usual. We made more then we had in Oct. Now the rest will go on Craig's list to be sold. I also made a quick trip to Tennessee to see my niece and her family.
1st the trip. My sister and I took off bright and early on Friday and made good time (for awhile), hit some rain and slow traffic but other wise it was a good trip. Christan and her family have a beautiful home and I so enjoyed myself. She took us to one of her favorite stores, Old Time Pottery, if you ever have a chance go and check this place out. My sister brought now for Kaity Bug a tent with a tunnel, she loved it. I won't mention any names, but someone got stuck in the tunnel. Oh how I wish I had the video of it.
I'm happy to announce that she did get out. But it was funny. And I just loved all my Kaity Bug kisses. I can't wait until the next time, and maybe we can make it a girls weekend with all of us.
Now the second big event was the barn sale, I know what the big deal about that. But when you are filling over 6000 sq. ft. pole barn with items, it is a big deal. It takes about 3 mo of solid work. We are so lucky to have a wonderful lady who does this. Then when all the sorting is done and price, we spend 4 days having a sale. Then the rest goes on to Craig's list or EBay. And let me tell you, I'm not sure how Lisa does all of this, because after the 4 days of selling, I'm whipped. But we do have lots of fun and that makes all the better. I will try and post pictures when we do the next one.
So now I think I'm caught up, at least for now. I'm looking forward to some down time, maybe I can get caught up at the house.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Just a Monday
It was very very cold this morning. We had a freeze warning last night but now it's in the high 50s and the sun is out. I know this week will go by fast and then I'm leaving for a long weekend with my sister. I can't wait. It's been to long. But that will be for a later post. I will concentrate on this past weekend.
As I mentioned before we are getting ready for the big barn sale. I knew my one daughter needed a bed and the other washer & dryer. And we had some of each. So they came out to look. Had a lot to look at and they found some nice deals. They each got what they needed, but sometimes I feel that instead of helping out with getting used ones, I should be buying new ones. And I just can't afford it. It's not anything they expect me to do, but I feel guilty. I know it's just me picking up on their feelings that they wish they could just buy new items.
As I mentioned before we are getting ready for the big barn sale. I knew my one daughter needed a bed and the other washer & dryer. And we had some of each. So they came out to look. Had a lot to look at and they found some nice deals. They each got what they needed, but sometimes I feel that instead of helping out with getting used ones, I should be buying new ones. And I just can't afford it. It's not anything they expect me to do, but I feel guilty. I know it's just me picking up on their feelings that they wish they could just buy new items.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
THE SUN IS SHINING
WOW... I just been reading over some of my thoughts and feelings I wrote the summer after Brad died. I thought I was doing better then I was. I can now see how far I have come and that makes me feel better about myself.
Today is in the 80's and sunny. It's so nice out. You just want to go out and absorb all the warmth.
Not to much going on, just working at getting the barn sale ready. And I'm going on mini road trip with my sister. I can't wait, we are taking some stuff down to my niece. I want to see her and her family, but I'm so looking forward to the trip with my sister. We have so much fun when we take these trips. And I miss not doing them as often as we had in the past. We use to go up north to Traverse City and buy plants (code word for Trillium), do some shopping, visit and just be stupid. Like getting lost, going the wrong way down a one way street(that would be me). But mostly just being with each other. We have a great relationship and I would be lost with out her.
When Brad was dieing all I wanted was my sister. She was in church, and I sent the police to get her,(they went to the wrong church) but she was found. And she was there with me before I knew it. I have to admit I'm so blessed with one of the best and supportive families there is.
Today is in the 80's and sunny. It's so nice out. You just want to go out and absorb all the warmth.
Not to much going on, just working at getting the barn sale ready. And I'm going on mini road trip with my sister. I can't wait, we are taking some stuff down to my niece. I want to see her and her family, but I'm so looking forward to the trip with my sister. We have so much fun when we take these trips. And I miss not doing them as often as we had in the past. We use to go up north to Traverse City and buy plants (code word for Trillium), do some shopping, visit and just be stupid. Like getting lost, going the wrong way down a one way street(that would be me). But mostly just being with each other. We have a great relationship and I would be lost with out her.
When Brad was dieing all I wanted was my sister. She was in church, and I sent the police to get her,(they went to the wrong church) but she was found. And she was there with me before I knew it. I have to admit I'm so blessed with one of the best and supportive families there is.
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