Sunday, October 16, 2011

BITTERSWEET

It's been a rough weekend.  It started Friday night when I got my mail.  There was a letter from Gift of Life.  I wasn't sure if I wanted to open it or not.  So as I sat in my driveway, I took a deep breath and opened the letter.  They had enclosed a letter from a person who had received Brad's gift.  And as I sat in the car reading this person letters, crying like a baby, I was once more back to that horrible day that I lost him.  I don't know how long I sat in the car crying.  But I finally got myself into the house and called my girls.  They where both so happy to hear about this person and had trouble understanding why I was so upset.  I posted it on face book and called a  friend.  They where all so happy for me, but I wasn't.  But two got how I was feeling, my cousin and my wonderful sister.  They both understood that I was reliving the nightmare all over again.   Don't miss understand me.  I'm so happy for this person.  I'm happy that Brad was able to make his life so very much better, that he lives on.  But my scar was ripped open and I have to deal with the pain as if it just happened again.

The girls want to answer the letter.  I need a few days to regroup.  Then we will sit down and send him a reply. 

Brad made a miracle happen, but it hurts so damn bad.

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