Monday, November 9, 2009


I already started the Nov. 9 post when I thought that those of you who might read this would like some history.

I lost my husband of 36 years on Nov. 12, 2007 from a spontaneous brain bleed. It has caused my world to come to an end as I had known it. I started Blogging on Myspace to get some of my feelings out so I won't go crazy from the grieve. I found it helped and if you are reading this I hope though my pain and learning so will you.

We met when I was 17 and he was 19. We where married a year later. Six years later we had our 1st daughter and 9 yrs after that came our 2cd child. We fought and loved, we worked hard to keep us together. We grew together and fell more in love with time. We have had many friends but he was my best friend. He was quite, I wasn't. He was my calming influences. He made me laugh and I think that we brought the best out of each other (most of the time). As his brother has told me since his death, that all you had to do was watch Brad watch me and see the love in his eyes. That is was so obvious how he felt about me. No one has said anything more precious to me. And the day before he past, he was taking care of me because I was sick. I saw him out in the yard looking for something. When he came in I asked what he was doing. He told me he was looking for his wedding ring.. he had lost it the day before, moving the washing machine into the house. He thought it came off in the gloves he was wearing but it wasn't there. It was making him so upset that he lost it. I told him not to worry we would fine it later.....we never did.

As I was sitting in the hospital waiting for my youngest daughter to arrive from Tennessee, two of my dearest friends showed up. As they are holding me they tell me it will get better with a lot of time. They should know they have each losted their husbands. As we sit there my one friend mentions that it has been 6 yrs for her and 4 yrs for my other friend. That is when it hits us that our husbands (including 1 other friend that wasn't there) have all lost our husbands 2 yrs apart and in the same week in November. This is so unreal. 1 to cancer, 1 to a blockage, 1 to a heart attack, and now my husband. What are the odds....really!

When my daughter arrives we have a final goodbye and as we sit watching him leave us I looked around and saw my son in laws holding my daughters and it hits me. I have no one to hold me and to help me. I'm totally alone for the first time in my life, what am I going to do. The first few days and months are a blurr...the first year should be forgotten....the second year is getting better...slowly. With the help of my wonderful family and friends I'm making it. Some days better then others.

I have 2 oldest is married with 3 children...1 girl & 2 boys. My youngest is also married with 2 children. 1 girl & 1 boy. She was 7 months pregnant when we lost her dad. She has honored his memory by naming her son after her father. He would have been so proud of him. Since his passing she has moved back to Michigan to be closer to her family.

We have always been a very close family..including the aunts, uncles & cousins.. as it should be. And this is how I'm making it.

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